Beginner's Mind

 There's been this longing

to make my mark,

exacerbated by museum visits

where marvelous paintings

trigger the idea

that maybe I could/should/would 

start making art again. 

Claude Monet Water Lilies.

Then my friend Carol started painting lessons.

Talk about inspiring!

When she mentioned

a painting class she'd signed up for this month

I was in.

I had no idea how terrifying 

this would be...

In the beginning

the mind focused on

supplies.

The right supplies,

the best supplies,

enough supplies.

Where are all my supplies?

You know.

The first class I ended up with a latte

that was NOT decaf.

Wrong move.

Even so, I did manage to follow the instructions.

My teacher Janis Ellison is very good.

Really knows her stuff.

 More importantly, she is able

to explain the process

to an intuitive artist

who never really 'got'

or was able to articulate

all that data about value,

tone, hue, etc.

I'm still not sure I can explain it

but I have a better understanding now.

(I must have missed something major in school.)

When panicked 

the best thing to do is just start.

A photo I took at Giverny in October 2014.

We started by choosing a photo 

we'd taken from nature

that had light, middle and dark values.

Gotta love Photoshop!

Shifted it to black and white.

4" x 5" first sketch in pencil.

Reduced it to just the values and shapes

in a small pencil sketch.

4" x 5" sketch in Tornbow markers.

Sketched it again using graded markers.

9" x 12" sanded paper mounted on foam core.

Then sketched,

attempting to capture the shapes and values,

on our 'good' paper with chalk.

These techniques are new to me.

I feel lost and unsuccessful.

I remember

beginner's mind.

Carol working on her charcoal sketch.

Janis's demonstration and work area. Value underpainting on right.

This photo shows Janis' work area
with her charcoal value sketch
fixed with alcohol
ready for the next step of watercolor underpainting.
(I seem to be missing the photo of my value underpainting.)

~~~~~~~~~

Driving to the second class
I watch my mind churning
over philosophical questions about the why of art,
the value of art and art making
(not light/dark but good/bad value).
That why-bother, how-to,
not-good-enough conversation.

Being curious and open to possibility
appears to be the best option.

Second lesson:
Apply a watercolor underpainting.

Use the opposite color
of the pastel that will be applied later in that area.
(The mind boggles here
and nearly shuts down --
it's as if I never heard this before!)

Then finally
its time to apply the pastel.
Janis demonstrates effortlessly.
(At least it appears that way.)
She talks about applying the pastel
like a whisper on the page.
Poetic
and easier said than done...

I begin.

Naturally the pastels
don't seem to work as fluidly for me
as they did for Janis...
How does she do that?!

I continue,
having no idea what I am actually doing.

Finally, surrendering to the mark
that my hand is making,
I find the flow 
and lose myself in the process.

Stepping back from the easel
reveals something magical.

This
is why.